Ticket

Note: This true story is here because of the large number of people that have told me they've enjoyed it. Please understand that despite the mention of fire-eating, I no longer do it as part of my act. I often get requests to do it at various events. At the current time I prefer to focus on other performance areas. I also get quite a few e-mail requests for instruction in fire-eating. While I did it safely and without injury during the entire stretch of time I ate fire, I do not consider myself to be a qualified instructor in this area.

There are many great hazards that magicians may face when performing. I suppose this is why every issue of MUM has an ad reminding us that, as members of the Society of American Magicians we can get insurance at a special rate. What they don't tell you is that there are things it doesn't cover. In fact, there are certain mishaps that we are never covered for. At the end of one SAM meeting I did my fire eating routine in the hope of getting useful criticism. Except for one minor mishap which almost resulted in my choking to death, it went rather smoothly. The more, er, interesting event that I was in no way covered for, occurred later. It was the drive home after the meeting that was most memorable.

The moment I saw flashing lights behind me I began to worry. I was fairly certain I hadn't done anything wrong, but I was a bit more concerned when the sheriff came into view alongside my car. The smile in front of me was a clear sign that this guy was enjoying his job far too much. I rolled down the window as he requested. He told me that he stopped me to let me know that one of my headlights was out. Then he looked me straight in the eye with a serious face and asked me if I had been drinking. Anyone that knows me knows that this is a rather silly question, well, except for the fact that the smell of alcohol was definitely present. I had to explain to him that the only reason for the smell of alcohol on my breath, and the still greater smell coming from the mostly empty seat next to me, was the one item that made the seat next to me mostly empty, rather than empty. The wand I use for the fire eating was sitting there, along with a half empty bottle of 160 proof vodka.

Unfortunately a fire eating wand is not the sort of thing that police are trained to recognize. He was obviously a bit shocked by my explanation and wasn't quite sure how to react. His serious expression cracked for just a moment. I think I even detected a hint of laughter. He cleared his throat and said, "that's an excuse I've never heard before." Luckily a fair amount of time had gone by since I did the routine and the breathalizer didn't show anything. As a result I only got a ticket for the obviously criminal act of having a headlight burn out, but the silly headlight almost turned into a DWI charge.

Performing hazards